Hiring Letter: Version Dark (Inferno Inc)

SO YOU WANT TO WORK FOR INFERNO, INC...

We know you aren't weak. If you were weak, you wouldn't be reading this letter.

The forces of good are overrated. The world is a mess. Everything is going to the dogs, and you know you can fix it if only you were in control. You hunger for power, and we can provide that, here at Inferno Incorporated.

So you're different from everyone else, you've found by now. Shed the shroud of normal life and step into the world of evil plots and deception! The world has no love for someone like yourself: turn to Inferno Inc, where you will be accepted and enfranchised.

An average worker at Inferno Inc can expect to:
Be berated by his master
Cook the books
Murder for profit
Send off form letters
Destroy families
Lift heavy objects
Visit Hell on official business
Be asked to pick up lunch orders
Summon demons from the far reaches of the void

And first and foremost: Take over the known world.

Do you accept?
(No, take me to Cloud Corps| )